why, oh why.

I'm kinda a bit depressed right now, so I don't wanna go to sleep. I'm afraid that I'll have nightmares.
Just watched the 9/11 movie starring Nicholas Cage, Maggie Gyllenhal,  Michael Angarano and all that. Fuuuck, why do I do such thing to myself? I'd know that I will feel depressed and scared after watching a movie like this. I just... couldn't resist.
9/11 was terrible. Even words can't describe, but I don't wanna talk about it. I need to think about something else, I simply can't take it, especially since it's dark and I'm tired. But it's hard.
I want to think about my friends, Twilight, Harry Potter... something that doesn't scare me, but something I enjoy. Maybe thinking about the puppy, that my grandmother just got, will help. I'm actually going to babysit it tomorrow.. or take care of it - whatever. It is so cute!
I'm feeling a bit better writing this. Just explain what I feel in words, it feels good. Letting it out.
I'm probably going to regret this tomorrow. I'm sure it will sound pathetic, but right now I don't care.